2004-01-04||10:56 a.m.

::\Can't Help But Cry Out Loud/::

I'm sitting here in my chair,
Feeling on my cheeks the usual tears.
You're about to go once again,
And leave me to my fears.

Even though it's only for a short while,
I still feel the pain.
I try to call you back,
But I'm afraid you'll call me insane.

There is no turning back,
Now that the flight is booked.
You have to return to your other life,
The one that everyone overlooked.

The familiarity of you around
Has lingered around me for a month.
Now when you have to leave,
I feel my heart weigh a hundred tons.

You ruffle my hair and blow me a kiss,
And tell me that you'll be back soon.
I nod but utter no words,
I'm trapped in my own cocoon.

I yearn so much to say bye,
But my throat freezes and nothing comes out.
I remember the times we spent last month,
And I can't help but cry out loud.

So... my dad's leaving again. *Sighs, then kicks everything* >.< Hate it when someone has to leave. Just HATE it! Goshens... I've spent the past last month with him... and, I guess I got used to him being with us again. *Sighs* And now that he has to leave for another week or so, I can't bear the pain of not seeing him everytime I get home from school. *Sighs* Goshens... I'll never NEVER get used to my life. Never. Ever. The one good thing is he's coming back for New Year, so yea... it won't be that long before I next see him. But... geez... I wonder what'll happen to me when he leaves again. Cos then, I won't know when I'll next see him. Gawd... this is SO sucky. *Cries* =( Feeling totally awful now... urgh... The feeling's just like... I get back a piece of my life in exchange for another. And then, I get back the exchanged piece. Then, a week later, I got to give back the piece I got. >.< And then, I get it back again and lose it again. This is NEVER going to end. Goshens...

I feel so much like this poem now...

Fly Away

little girl lost
shes slowly faded
been hurt too many times
now shes jaded

she doesnt understand
what she does wrong
doesnt know why
shes been alone so long

all she wants
is to be held at night
someone to love her
clutch her tight

is she wrong for wanting
what she deserves
life just keeps throwing her
devestating curves

alone when she sleeps
alone when she cries
shes asking herself
will she be alone as she dies

everyday a new tear
add to more tears from her past
sliding down her face
each falling faster than the last

she decides shes had enough
she will hurt no more
in her mind shes hit the bottom
shes been chewed to the core

she walks away from everything
in hopes somethings on the other side
somewhere she can feel nothing
forget all the tears shes cried

walking to the edge
she shivers in the breeze
she cries softly in the night
and makes her final pleas

wrapping her arms around herself
she licks her lips and closes her eyes
with the taste of tears on her lips
she spreads her arms and flies

By Lissy

::\Fayes/::

tide in || tide out

::\The End/:: - 2004-04-04
::\Thank You & Goodbye/:: - 2004-04-04
::\Guaranteed Promises/:: - 2004-04-03
::\Forgive Me/:: - 2004-04-02
::\A Prayer to the Angel of Tears/:: - 2004-04-01