2004-01-11||7:24 p.m.

::\What's Life Really About? Living?/::

My eyelids sink down over my eyes gradually. The feeling of tiredness settling down deep within me. Someone dims the lights and helps me over to a cushioned platform. The soft silk I feel between my fingertips seem to hum a tune which makes me drunk with sleep. The song lingers around the tips of my ears, humming thinly like the wind blowing. Images start swirling around me, the room starts to sink. I flutter my eyelids, trying to steady myself, but the dizziness in my head forces me to close them. I lay my head back and murmur a few words before finally giving in to the heavy sleep. Pitch blackness surrounds me, then a light appears, drawing closer with every second. The swirling continues, and down a tunnel I go. I reach out for balance, but slip and fall instead. The rushing of wind echoes through my ears, creating a hollow sound. I groan, then give up entirely. The wind flutters my shirt and pants, then suddenly catches me and carries me off to a place where no one can reach. My dream.
*Yawns* It's the end of the week. I know I haven't been blogging much, I know I haven't been online much. 3 days since I've touched the computer. o.O Oh wellz... I've been really busy with the IT Music performance and all. I'm so sorry! I need sleep... terribly need sleep. But, can't seem to get it. Everytime I try to sleep or rest, I either hear the alarm clock the next second or have something else to do. >.< It just doesn't seem to stop, does it? Time! Time doesn't seem to stop... it doesn't. But, I want it to! I really really want it to stop. Somewhere, somehow. *Sighs* I need to stop... not later, not soon. I need to stop now. But I can't. I just can't, and it all just seems to keep rolling on, like some rock rolling down a steep hill, except that there is no flat ground at the bottom, just steep land going on and on until finally the rock just rolls into the burning core of the earth. Goshens, I would really hate that to happen. The rock'll then just disappear into the red liquid, never to be seen again. Will that happen to me? Will I just melt into my life, then get old, die... be buried or burnt and never to be seen again? It would happen to me, wouldn't it? I mean, it will happen. It will. Sad, but it will. *Sighs* Sometimes, I just really wonder about the meaning of living. Yea, you say you live for tomorrow, but what about tomorrow? Do you live for tomorrow's tomorrow as well? o.O Does it just keeps going on? Won't it get boring or something? Won't you get tired? Don't you need a rest? Some things are just so complicated that once you stop and think about them, all you get is a splitting headache. Take this for example, there are so many things in life that resembles life. So, isn't life life? So is there anything else OTHER than life? Any other form of living? Gawd... how do you phrase this? Bahz.. most people reading this would think I'm insane. *Sighs* So, maybe I should just stop talking nonsense and do something more meaningful. Right? Most people would say that. But, geez, these are questions, people! I need some questions of mine answered instead of others'! This may seem like complaining and whining about life to some, but I don't mean it in that way. I mean geez, philosophically, there're like so many thousands of things in life that just need a little thinking to get the answer, but some other millions, you need to fire a question and then wait for others to answer it. But who'll answer it if everyone thinks what you're saying is crap or just nonsensical complaints? Oh wellz... this is getting nowhere. Cos, I'll just go from one topic to another to ANOTHER and ANOTHER. o.O As if that makes any sense. Pfft!
::\Fayes/::
P.S. I'm not angry at life, just... puzzled over it. *Sighs*

tide in || tide out

::\The End/:: - 2004-04-04
::\Thank You & Goodbye/:: - 2004-04-04
::\Guaranteed Promises/:: - 2004-04-03
::\Forgive Me/:: - 2004-04-02
::\A Prayer to the Angel of Tears/:: - 2004-04-01